kissofthewhip | IC Contact

I won't refute that.

[He wishes he had stopped to purchase a drink.]

However, the...second time. I think it would be safe to say neither of us were in our right minds. I should have refused you after - [He waves his hand. You know. That bite.]

[He closes his eyes a moment, shaking his head.]

No. I was the one who should have had self-control. I was the one who knew the state you were in. The fault was mine.

Forces out of your control pushed rather heavily on you. We may push blame back and forth across this table but that will not take away that I must follow what my law demands of me.

Surely you understand that?

[But he shakes his head - ]

And what is it your law demands of you?

That I make amends for the wrong of my actions. It's usually quite extreme in this situation. I don't think you're one to call for another's life-blood so that leaves you whatever pound of flesh to take as you wish. [The prim finish of his expression dulls in that moment.

His cousin had managed to control himself after going through the same situation and yet he was unable to completely.

So...] This is well deserved, messire. Trust me in that.

[And again, Edgeworth stares - then again, he shakes his head, his mouth a thin, firm line.]

I am not going to make you suffer, Shahrizai.

Yes, I understand it is unusual and nonsensical for you but I have to insist. Without I-...

There will be no absolution. [He cannot simply go to one of Kushiel's temples and have himself scourged to purge his sins.

He narrows his eyes.] I do not think you can honestly tell me some part of you did not feel violated by my transgressions.

[He says:]

I should say I have no right to.

[But he drops his eyes as he does; his face remains still stubborn, with lines about his mouth, but the lie is clear in his eyes. And, after a moment, he says:]

By the laws of my system, Shahrizai, you've the right to hand me over as a rapist.

Oh, but you don't want to. [Mavros snorts.]

For your trials and judges and juries of peers, yes? Then you'll be condemned and nothing comes from it.

It doesn't matter whether or not something would come of it.

[He looks up again.]

Do you deny that I've wronged you, Mr. Shahrizai? Yet you alone should pay penance for your crime?

Ah, Elua...

[He draws a hand through his loose hair.]

This is a mess.

[Well, at least it's a response that doesn't consist of bitter recrimination for his monstrous crime. So his fierce expression fades just a bit, and he repeats himself, this time more a genuine question:]

Don't you feel I wronged you?

[His hand goes back to his cheek and he looks at Edgeworth plainly.

And says just as plainly:

Yes.

[Edgeworth flinches as though he's been slapped. In spite of all of it - he wanted desperately to hear no.

He drops his gaze again. Quietly:]

Then I ask that you hand me over for judgment for my crimes.

[He has no right to take pleasure in that flinch. None. At all. And still he does.]

If I throw you to them - [He nods out towards the window and Ariel.] - they'll just put you in re-education and we'll be in the same mess once again.

I want nothing of that.

[He shakes his head - then swallows as a more painful thought still occurs to him. He clenches his fists, then says:]

Then declaim me for the criminal I am. So that all might know.

Is that what you want? [He is not staring, but watching carefully. Tracing cracks...]

[No, he wants to say, and he wants to say it furiously, powerfully, but instead:]

What I want is of no consequence. A criminal has no say in his sentencing.

And here we are, criminals both. Ah, and I a heretic on top.

I have deferred to your laws in the past, messire. Perhaps this time you should take on mine.

[He closes his eyes - squeezes them shut - and says:]

I'll pay the penance you want me to pay, Mr. Shahrizai. But I do not see the justice in that penance being making you suffer.

Kushiel's justice ends with his mercy.

And with it forgiveness. [Which he desperately needs to have so he does not go mad.] You cannot earn it without suffering.

...you might find it goes both ways.

[He looks up, and, eternal pessimist, assumes that what goes both ways is - ]

Suffering?

[Oh, Edgeworth.

Mavros laughs and there's a flicker of amusement not so trodden in there.]

Forgiveness, messire.

Though the suffering is there no matter what.

[He looks up, then. There's not much comfort taken in the man's amusement, but...It's observed.]

But as I've said, I see nothing to forgive in your acts.

[Still...]

So what will it consist of? Am I to strike you, then?

Aside from those violations. [Or not even those?]

[Mavros' amusement fades. Here, he's pushed for this but he has no stomach to dictate or even suggest more whips and more chains.

He cannot dictate that anyway. His amusement is fleeting.]

That is for you to decide however you wish, in whatever way that you think just punishment for the injury I placed on you.

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