That I make amends for the wrong of my actions. It's usually quite extreme in this situation. I don't think you're one to call for another's life-blood so that leaves you whatever pound of flesh to take as you wish. [The prim finish of his expression dulls in that moment.
His cousin had managed to control himself after going through the same situation and yet he was unable to completely.
So...] This is well deserved, messire. Trust me in that.
[But he drops his eyes as he does; his face remains still stubborn, with lines about his mouth, but the lie is clear in his eyes. And, after a moment, he says:]
By the laws of my system, Shahrizai, you've the right to hand me over as a rapist.
[Well, at least it's a response that doesn't consist of bitter recrimination for his monstrous crime. So his fierce expression fades just a bit, and he repeats himself, this time more a genuine question:]
[He closes his eyes and takes a breath. Perhaps this is penance indeed, then: he'll do this, go forward with this, make himself feel a monster again. If it will bring Mavros some comfort.]
[His lips thin and he has to take a breath of his own.] I can only speak to what goes on in Kushiel's temples for those seeking atonement.
And that is scourging.
Tied to a post and lashed with a flogger of braided leather and tipped with metal. Then follows confession and then salt water is poured over one's flesh to give one last wash of pain to end it all.
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And what is it your law demands of you?
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His cousin had managed to control himself after going through the same situation and yet he was unable to completely.
So...] This is well deserved, messire. Trust me in that.
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I am not going to make you suffer, Shahrizai.
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There will be no absolution. [He cannot simply go to one of Kushiel's temples and have himself scourged to purge his sins.
He narrows his eyes.] I do not think you can honestly tell me some part of you did not feel violated by my transgressions.
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I should say I have no right to.
[But he drops his eyes as he does; his face remains still stubborn, with lines about his mouth, but the lie is clear in his eyes. And, after a moment, he says:]
By the laws of my system, Shahrizai, you've the right to hand me over as a rapist.
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For your trials and judges and juries of peers, yes? Then you'll be condemned and nothing comes from it.
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[He looks up again.]
Do you deny that I've wronged you, Mr. Shahrizai? Yet you alone should pay penance for your crime?
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[He draws a hand through his loose hair.]
This is a mess.
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Don't you feel I wronged you?
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And says just as plainly:
Yes.
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He drops his gaze again. Quietly:]
Then I ask that you hand me over for judgment for my crimes.
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If I throw you to them - [He nods out towards the window and Ariel.] - they'll just put you in re-education and we'll be in the same mess once again.
I want nothing of that.
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Then declaim me for the criminal I am. So that all might know.
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What I want is of no consequence. A criminal has no say in his sentencing.
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I have deferred to your laws in the past, messire. Perhaps this time you should take on mine.
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I'll pay the penance you want me to pay, Mr. Shahrizai. But I do not see the justice in that penance being making you suffer.
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And with it forgiveness. [Which he desperately needs to have so he does not go mad.] You cannot earn it without suffering.
...you might find it goes both ways.
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Suffering?
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Mavros laughs and there's a flicker of amusement not so trodden in there.]
Forgiveness, messire.
Though the suffering is there no matter what.
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But as I've said, I see nothing to forgive in your acts.
[Still...]
So what will it consist of? Am I to strike you, then?
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[Mavros' amusement fades. Here, he's pushed for this but he has no stomach to dictate or even suggest more whips and more chains.
He cannot dictate that anyway. His amusement is fleeting.]
That is for you to decide however you wish, in whatever way that you think just punishment for the injury I placed on you.
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What form does it usually take?
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And that is scourging.
Tied to a post and lashed with a flogger of braided leather and tipped with metal. Then follows confession and then salt water is poured over one's flesh to give one last wash of pain to end it all.
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I am not doing that. I am sorry if it does not - But I am not going to do that.
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