[Well, at least it's a response that doesn't consist of bitter recrimination for his monstrous crime. So his fierce expression fades just a bit, and he repeats himself, this time more a genuine question:]
[He closes his eyes and takes a breath. Perhaps this is penance indeed, then: he'll do this, go forward with this, make himself feel a monster again. If it will bring Mavros some comfort.]
[His lips thin and he has to take a breath of his own.] I can only speak to what goes on in Kushiel's temples for those seeking atonement.
And that is scourging.
Tied to a post and lashed with a flogger of braided leather and tipped with metal. Then follows confession and then salt water is poured over one's flesh to give one last wash of pain to end it all.
[What he wants to do? Nothing, he says to himself, strongly, fiercely, and yet -
He remembers going home, both times, and standing in the shower, eyes closed, breathing hard, his back pressed against the wall of the stall. He'd gripped at his arms, and thought of the shamelessness - the whorishness he'd shown, the way he'd then been pushed down into the couch having uttered his call for freedom twice, ignored both times. He'd just thought - God, if Mavros had just listened to him, had just listened, and what sort of man claimed something "sacred" but then ignored it merely because of his -
No. He bears no grudge against him. There's no desire for any retribution. No.]
I wish to convince you of your lack of culpability.
[He looks up, and there's the slightest flash of anger amidst his sorrow and guilt. He shoves it down, considers it unworthy.]
What would you have me say? That I envisioned doing the opposite? Ignoring your safeword? I am a man of the law, sir, and do not hold to committing transgressions to punish transgressions.
I will have no signale in this messire. You will break no laws acting as Kushiel would against a sinner that come to him.
[He gets up.] Think. If you need inspiration so desperately - I'll tell you that I carved that of House Shahrizai's key into my cousin's chest for his penance. And with that we were even.
I will be back. [And goes to the counter to finally get some drink. Leaving Edgeworth to percolate tends to do result in something.]
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